We all know them, and few love them—the toxic boss who constantly berates other people within the organization. The tyrant boss creates more division than harmony. Or the manager who condescends and never listens to their people. These are toxic bosses who are emotionally abusive. Here are ten signs you work for one.
What constitutes an abusive boss? There are several types of abuse when a power dynamic is in play, such as between a boss and a subordinate:
- Physical abuse
- Sexual abuse
- Psychological or emotional abuse
- Discriminatory abuse
What are the signs of a toxic boss?
Working for a bad boss can be a nightmare. They can make your life miserable with their constant criticism and demands. They may also create a hostile work environment, leading to stress and anxiety. Here are ten signs you work for one.
Your toxic boss is disgusted by you.
You can do nothing right. The only feedback your toxic boss offers is in the form of criticism. They rarely say you did a good job or thank you. Instead, he treats you with disdain yet keeps you around as his punching bag. He may snap his fingers at you or tap his desk impatiently whenever you seek guidance. He becomes cold and nonverbal or uses hostile sarcasm whenever he is angry. Soon you find that your interactions are full of disrespect or condescending tone. As a result, he is encouraging you to doubt yourself.
Your abusive boss gaslights you.
A common tactic abusive bosses use is gaslighting. Gaslighting helps your toxic boss maintain power because they make you question reality. For example, if you bring up a past incident or current problem, your boss makes you feel crazy or as if you made it up altogether. She will use phrases like “that didn’t happen,” “no one has ever noticed that,” or “are you sure that happened?” Toxic bosses use the gaslighting tactic to get you to question yourself and ultimately shut up and stop complaining.
A toxic boss is distrustful of others.
A toxic boss will continuously blame their team for poor work and shout from the rooftops that they are unreliable and untrustworthy. They may even go above and beyond and tell you directly that they don’t trust you. They maximize their use of scapegoats and go as far as to encourage others to do the same.
Accountability is absent in a toxic boss.
Your boss can’t pronounce accountability, much less demonstrate it. It is almost as if it were a foreign word. As long as it isn’t time to be accountable for something, they will make it clear they are in charge. Then, when it is time to be accountable, they blame “the idiots” around them, you.
Toxic bosses micromanage.
Abusive bosses are incredibly incompetent. When your boss micromanages you, it could be a form of over-control and emotional abuse. The more on the edge you are, the more control he has. If you are confident that you haven’t messed up, they likely refuse to express trust.
There’s chronic emotional abuse from a toxic boss.
Emotional abuse systematically removes your self-confidence, sense of self-worth, trust in your perceptions, and self-concept. For example, a boss is emotionally abusive by berating and belittling, by intimidating under the guise of guidance, teaching, or advice. Their abuse includes verbal and constant criticism or more subtle tactics, such as intimidation, manipulation, and refusal to be pleased.
Abusive bosses practice extreme friendliness.
A toxic boss will use an agreeable, pleasant nature to bait and switch others. They seem charming, but it is nothing more than smoke and mirrors. Ultimately they lack empathy and consistently manipulate others.
Your toxic boss gossips excessively.
A toxic boss will “confide” in you about the incompetence of other team members. When they gossip, they use negative language, innuendos, and hushed tones to poison the names of your co-workers. These bosses use gossip to inflate their importance. Don’t mistake this for trust in you or indicating that you are important to them. If they gossip with you, trust and believe they are doing it to you.
Defensive body language is a sign of a toxic boss.
A toxic boss will avoid eye contact, shift around constantly, focus on their computer, or shuffle through papers while talking with you. If they exhibit these signs while talking about your strengths, it is a good sign that they feel insecure and may view you as a threat. When your boss begins to feel you are better at your job than they are at theirs, you most likely will end up with a power struggle.
Their team is participating in the Great Resignation.
A toxic boss will have a hard time keeping people on their team. So if people are leaving a manager in droves, it indicates they are a toxic boss.
How you handle these bosses will vary depending on the circumstances. If your trust in the organization remains intact, you can talk to HR or the toxic boss’s boss and recommend coaching. Make sure you document and quantify the abuse and the damage they caused to the organization. If your toxic boss has robbed you of all trust, it is time to find another job.
I want to hear from you. Share your toxic, abusive boss stories in the comments below!
Last updated on December 6th, 2022 at 05:03 am
What toxic things does your boss do and how do you cope with it.