There are jerks all around us. Why does it seem that being a jerk is what it takes to succeed? Do nice guys really finish last? There are certainly people everywhere who are out for themselves. People who are willing to step on other people just to advance. Some fields are definitely more populated by jerks than others. However, jerks aren’t typically the majority of people in an office.
It’s not normal for jerks to be so successful. It isn’t normal for an organizations culture to allow people who steamroll over others, who kick, claw and tear others down to look useful to their boss or others. Unless you are in a dysfunctional field or office.
Often this kind of behavior happens because the organization’s culture allows it. You don’t find it in offices that prioritize transparency and integrity. Nor will you find it in organizations whose leaders model these things themselves.
What to Do When You Feel You Have to Be a Jerk to Be Successful
Work on improving your relationship with your manager. Build trust and credibility with your boss. This can help because if you have a good enough rapport with your boss you can have a frank conversation and talk through the nuances of the culture and why jerkish behavior seems to be acceptable.
Figure out if it is your industry or field by enlisting a mentor or talking to friends who also work in the field. Find someone more senior in your industry to find out if this behavior is the norm. If it is and you can’t find a way to work within it, you might want to choose a new field.
If you decide to move on, start looking for a new opportunity. When you start job searching really dig into the culture of anywhere you are considering taking a job. Try talking to people who work there before accepting the position to see if it will be the same jerkish culture all over again. Look for an organization that emphasizes transparency and learning from mistakes.
If the boss is the jerk, check out 10 Signs You Have a Toxic Boss and How to Overcome.
