If you are among the 70 percent of Americans who will make a New Year’s resolution, don’t overlook this small but powerful resolution that will improve your leadership presence. Standard New Year’s resolutions include losing weight, eating healthy, getting organized, saving money, and learning a new skill.
Most people go about creating New Year’s resolutions to spark positive change. They strive to do things that will help them excel personally or professionally. And there is nothing wrong with following the standard themes outlined above. However, I would ask you to consider adding this must-have item to your New Year’s resolution list.
Stop saying you are sorry when you aren’t at fault.
Saying “I’m sorry,” especially when you aren’t at fault, has become an automatic reaction. Some common times where “sorry” is an automatic reaction include: when sneezing, standing in someone’s way, and correcting someone when they are wrong. One that I’m at fault of is responding to an email after a long period of time with “I’m sorry for the delay.”
You don’t need to apologize for things that are outside of your control. Furthermore, doing so can make people think less of you, and that isn’t great for your leadership presence. It is especially the case when you say “sorry” in response to someone bumping into you or interrupting you. In reality, the list of unnecessary apologies is endless because it has become an automatic reaction. Make this year the year you eliminate the automatic response of “I’m sorry” when you aren’t at fault.
Stop saying, “I’m sorry” when not at fault and say this instead.
We train people how to treat us, and sometimes that starts with us apologizing when we aren’t at fault. Doing so will cause people to lose respect for you, lessen the impact of future apologies, lowers your self-esteem, but most importantly, it can be annoying. So instead of saying “I’m sorry,” say this instead.
- If you bump into someone:
- excuse me
- pardon me
- go-ahead
- When interrupting someone:
- I’d like to add
- I have an idea
- let me expand on that
- When venting at someone:
- thank you for listening
- thank you for letting me vent
- If someone points out an error you made:
- thank you for catching that
- I appreciate you bringing that to my attention
- thank you for highlighting that issue for me
- When running late to a meeting, or responding late:
- thank you for waiting
- If you can’t help someone or attend an event:
- I am working on tight timelines and can’t help right now
- I can’t make it, maybe next time
Most people are unsuccessful at achieving their New Year’s resolutions. Building new habits is hard, and that is especially the case when those habits are deeply ingrained and automatic. Keep the following in mind to help set yourself up for success:
- Monitor your apologies by being self-aware.
- Get clear on what you should and shouldn’t apologize for.
- Start digitally by reviewing your emails before sending and evaluate any “sorry’s.” Your digital language will naturally flow into real life.
- Get comfortable with saying no and not apologizing for turning someone down.
Add “not saying sorry when I’m not at fault” to your New Year’s resolutions this year. A small change in the language you use makes a big impact on your personal and professional growth. It will help improve your self-esteem and how other people see you. As a result, it will improve your leadership presence.
Last updated on June 3rd, 2020 at 03:29 am
